Pyro Show - Fire For Hire

Wow, so how exactly did we get involved with this? It all began when our buddy Patrick Stephens of Patrick Stephens Freestyle fame asked us to come check out a stunt show he had put together, the highlight of which, he relayed without irony, would be his two friends Jeremy and Jesse "setting themselves on fire." So it's come to this, has it?

"Um, did you say 'setting themselves on fire,' Patrick? Like flame-broiled, Texas-barbecue, real-flames fire?""Yes, of course."

"Why would they do that? Ugly divorce?"No, stupid, for your entertainment

"Oh, we see. Wouldn't they rather do a little tap dance or sing karaoke or swallow a sword or anything else safer than actually setting themselves on fire?"It's cool. It's what they do."

It's what they do? It's what they do? Why would anyone do that? Has it really become so hard to stand out in the always-progressing world of motorcycle stunting that kids nowadays will douse themselves in combustibles and set themselves ablaze just to impress their friends? We knew we had to go down to the show, if only to talk some sense into these kids and avert a tragedy.

A few hours later we arrived at the open stunt session Stephens hosts twice a month at the Hot Rods and Hogg's bar in Fort Worth, Texas. The typical program is Stephens and his boys stunting for a few hours and a bikini contest at the bar and brews for everyone to wash it down after dark. This time, however, the show was a bit different thanks to the addition of the so-called "Pyro Punks." You gotta be kidding us

We watched the straight-ahead stunt show until dusk, which was composed of standard issue wheelie and stoppie stuff; then, just as the final golden rays of sun dissipated into darkness, Stephens cleared out the lot and made everyone stand back-way back. It was all quiet until we heard a lone four-cylinder fire up and soon saw it come flying around the corner-with two dudes on board wearing what looked like hoodies and jeans, both absolutely engulfed in orange flames like a 50-mph Molotov cocktail. They roared past the crowd, close enough that you could feel the heat on your cheeks, before the rider slammed on the brakes and his soon-to-be-sauted passenger did a somersault over him and landed on his feet in front of the bike, still burning up like a Boy Scout's first marshmallow. Then chaos erupted, as people seemingly converged from every direction, fire extinguishers going off everywhere, filling the Texas night air with a sulfurous stench.

Did we just see that with our own eyes? For real?

Hot Dogs
Meet the Pyro Punks, Jeremy Brooks and Jesse Gerchario, best friends since childhood and stunt performers from Arlington, Texas. Notice that we called them stunt performers, as compared to stunt riders. Stunt riders' tricks are limited to motorcycles, whereas stunt performers have a wider repertoire that, for these two at least, includes such puzzling fare as: high falls, stage combat, ratchet pull (come again?), face-offs & headers (I think I saw that movie...) and, finally, the human torch.