Nobody said designing a motorcycle was easy, but there's a basic protocol that was established long ago: give it two wheels, a motor, and something to hold it all together. After that, it's all gravy.
Whether it's a sportbike with copious amounts of stylish and aerodynamic bodywork or a naked cruiser that boasts a bountiful engine, the basic principles seem straightforward: choose sharp and angular instead of bulbous and opt for muscular instead of flabby.
All quite obvious right? Apparently it's sometimes easier said than done, and these offensive designs will forever take honors in the annals of motorcycle design maladies.
Suitable perhaps for Ronald...
Suitable perhaps for Ronald McDonald, but not many aside from an insane clown would aspire to own a K1.
1988: BMW K1
When designers choose to ignore all fundamental design principles and focus solely on aerodynamics, something like BMW's K1 inevitably pops out the other end of the wind tunnel. If you haven't seen one in person consider yourself lucky.
1996: Bimota Mantra
Giving new meaning to the term "fugly," the Italian tuning/bike building firm stuck a Ducati 900SS motor in a naked bike package, but it resulted in something rather bizarre.
Did it perform though? Does it matter? When something's this hideous it really can't overcome great performance. You'd still have to see it in your garage, wouldn't you?
1989: Honda PC800
A "revolutionary design" in 1989 displayed an abundance of Buck Rogers and Star Trek influence, but very little street savvy sport tourer. Ironic or coincidental, but the Frigidaire White color option was perfectly descriptive of the bike's appearance-a refrigerator with mirrors and space age lighting. Yuck.
2002: Triumph Tiger
Unlike the majority of our other hideous creations, the Triumph Tiger actually only suffered from an ugly "phase" and also performed quite well. The unsightly years of the big trailie bike were from 2002-2006. Plagued with ridiculous tiger striping, the bug like appearance was exacerbated with vivid green paint.
2007: KTM 690
We can't argue with results, and the KTM 690 has proved to be quite a contender in racing events such as the Paris-Dakar Rally. But, that doesn't prevent a nauseous sensation from overtaking anyone in its presence.
The KTM 690 never starred in Spy vs. Spy.
1997: BMW R1200C
James Bond fans will recognize the BMW R1200C from the sub par spy flick Tomorrow Never Dies. The German firm got its feet wet in the cruiser market with the R1200C, and in the process learned a valuable lesson-stick to what you know.
From the odd single sided spoke rear wheel to the peculiar Springer-esque front end the bike was just all wrong. Mix in 60 horsepower and 500-plus pounds for a cocktail of unsightly underachievement. It was discontinued in 2004. Duh.
1988-2006: Suzuki Katana
To pick one year's frightfulness over another's would be too difficult, and so the model is examined as a whole -whole lotta ugly. Introduced as a sport tourer in 1988, the Katana quickly gained popularity with entry level riders wanting supersport looks without paying for them.
Such was the ongoing joke for the "can-o-tuna" until its discontinuation in 2006 due to its popularity with novice riders and lackluster performance.
Relatively unchanged for ten years, the second generation Katana proved the world wrong and became even more homely in 1998.