Hitting monthly deadlines, drinking copious amounts of beer and chasing skirts generally occupies most of my waking hours and doesn't leave much time for taking vacations (though the latter two might be considered such).
Often, the only fun in the sun I get is opening the blinds in my office. But when one of our advertising monkeys asked if I wanted to take a motorcycle tour across Malaysia on work expenses the response was a definitive "Yes," followed by "Wait, where is Malaysia?"
As fast as I could type eight letters into Google and scan the subsequent Wikipedia review, certain I had armed myself with enough knowledge and was ready for an adventure.
With 18 hours of airtime ahead of us the only logical thing to do was take advantage of the free booze offered on the international flight.
My travel companion, and reason for the trip, was a native Malaysian scheduled for an arranged marriage. This was going to get interesting...
With a limousine waiting for us at the airport, it was already looking to be an epic trip even before the hapless groom was whisked away as I explored the men's room.
The only clue to my destination was a crumbled piece of paper with the wedding's address and a contact for a company called Malaysian Motorcycle Tours. This was, apparently, the link between work and executing some ridiculous form of a nuptial agreement.
After a quick phone call I was swooped up and given a 2007 Honda VFR800. The chase to catch the groom began, and over the course of the next few days I enjoyed a surreal experience of natural beauty and motorcycling bliss.
As the effects of the alcohol at 30,000 feet wore off so did my elaborate dream, but a good portion of it was based in true life events. OK, so Zack hadn't really been kidnapped by wild marriage enthusiasts, but I had actually toured this amazing country with the wind in my face.
Now if I could just remember who this exotic beauty is who keeps calling me "hubby..."
Do It On Two Wheels
Malaysian Motorcycle Getaways offers motorcycle tours that consist of an eight-day trip from the largest city in Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur, to Ipoh, at the Thailand border. There are over 1,000 scenic miles, and many offer some of the best twisty canyon roads on earth.
After leaving Kuala Lumpur, a jaunt up the mountain road led us through the scenic Cameron Highlands with its vast tea orchards. Midway through, we took a ferry to the island of Penang where we visited Penang Hill, Kek Lok Si Temple and the National War Museum. On to Ipoh, the sites included tours of the King's palace and the leaning tower.
The tour finished with the amazing Deepavali festival of lights-a spectacle not to be missed by those interested in cultural celebrations.
The landscape ranges from bustling metropolitan areas that are as modern as New York or Los Angles, to grass huts deep in the jungle. It's a motorcycling heaven with thousands of miles of some of the smoothest winding roads through scenic jungles and tropical highways. The people are beyond friendly with their helpful nature and laid back attitude.
Nearly all of the population speaks perfect English - making self-guided travel easy and safe.